As smith_drew (Drew) is experiencing his first American Thanksgiving with littledrummerboy4christ (Scott), the two decided it was an appropriate time to reflect on how thankful they are for each other’s friendship. With this friendship has come some very memorable moments and memories. Memories and moments. Hmmmmm…. One such memory recalled was from the Exodus Conference this past July where the two men were roommates. Our story now unfolds:
Almost…
Note: The following story may or may not cause you to fall off your computer chair (because it's that awesome) from 'el oh el'-ing. If the falling happens, the dual writers of this awesome co-blog entry assume no responsibility nor will pay for any health bills that you might have incurred from this incident. Unless you are Canadian. Because health care is free there. Heck...we'll pay for anything you want done in Canada. Health care wise.
Okay. Moving on.
Our story actually begins prior to the Exodus Freedom Conference. Scott thought it would be a good idea to do his reading for his summer class* out by his family's new pool and work on his tan. Working on his tan ended up being a horrible sunburn on his back and thighs which would cause the next day's drive to Chicago to be quite painful. Knowing it was a severe burn, he took his sister to the store the night before his leaving to pick up some Ocean Potion in order to soothe the burn. He got to the conference and was ecstatic to see old friends and finally meet in person his awesome xanga roommate- Drew!
*editor's note: This was actually NOT a summer class. It was a class in his last quarter and he's been putting off the work for years basically. Scott is a huge procrastinator. Reflection moment: maybe the burn was deserved?
Scott and Drew. Together at last. After commenting diligently on each other's blogs for the past months they were excited to see each other 'in the flesh'. They laughed. They ran. They jumped. They sang. In harmony. Because they are both music majors. Yes. It's true. Finally it came time for that awesome man hug they both had been waiting for. You know the one. Hug turns into three awesome, epic and very manly back pats. Hugging this way affirms us that we are men. Especially after our killer harmony. We both feel affirmed in our manhood. Exodus is already serving us early into the conference. Good times Exodus. Woot.
Turns out Drew was way cooler than Scott.
Literally.
As Drew was in the man hug he noticed a silent (yet strangely manly) cry from Scott. Drew thinks Scott's just happy to see him. But it turns out Drew was hitting Scott's tender red back during the man hug. Scott explains his situation and Drew doesn't quite understand how severe the burn actually is. Scott showed everyone at Exodus his third degree burns by ripping his shirt off on the front lawn. He got everyone's attention immediately.
Because of the burn.
Like I said before. Drew is waaaay cooler than Scott. Scott's burn was redder than a tomoato on Mars and it literally increased his temperature in Fahrenheit by a few degrees. And by a few points in Celsius. This makes Drew cooler.
The friends continued Exodusing around and enjoying their time with friends. The two of them stayed in Adam's Hall and were having fun meeting a lot of people that they'd be sharing the restrooms/bathrooms with. Most of them were a lot older than Scott and Drew. They were friendly folks from all over the country. We would chat with a lot of them while brushing our teeth (side note to Tom. WE KNOW we switched tenses..back off!!!). Obviously, because they talked while they brushed and flossed and we brushed while they talked, we missed a lot of key information about our new roommates. But being the sensitive, people focused guys Scott and Drew were (and never wanting to put anyone out), they would continue to make key listening noises so that the men brushing their teeth felt affirmed. As men. Because this is what Exodus is really all about. Affirming middle aged men while they brush their teeth and Scott and Drew would nod their heads like this is normal.
Scott and Drew were getting ready for bed when Scott pulled out his Ocean Potion in order to soothe the horrendous burn on his back. Due to boundaries set prior to the conference, Scott was concerned about asking Drew to put the Ocean Potion on his back as he had made his sister do the previous night, but Drew offered to help a brother out without Scott even needing to ask.. Scott (being ever so humble and somewhat relieved) was willing to accept Drew's offer and allow him to put the Ocean Potion on his back. Would it be weird? NO. Scott and Drew affirmed they were men. Men would do this for each other, no? David would totally have put Ocean Potion on Jonathan's back if needed, yes? Yes. They would have. Because friends go the extra mile.
Drew was slightly jerky about it and would taunt Scott by faking him out and then suddenly putting the exceedingly cool gel on his friend’s back, causing Scott to twitch and writhe (maybe David wouldn't have done that to Jonathan). But being the gracious and wonderful person that he is, Scott was willing to put up with Drew's shenanigans. This routine was followed the following evening as well... but the third night’s events would unfold to make the routine quite different...
It was actually quite early in the morning. You see...much discussion about the days events had to take place. This was usually done right before bed. Much debrief had to happen...who was crying, who was prayed for, who was cured, who turned gay, etc. You know. The usual.
Scott and Drew grabbed their toiletries and headed towards the washroom in silence. Drew forgot his washcloth and decided to go back and get it. When Drew got back to the room he saw Scott's lotion and brought it to the bathroom. Because here's the deal: after Drew put on the ocean potion smelly lotion stuff on Scott's back he had to go and wash his hands. SO...just to make this clear:
Drew's Logic: Bring the ocean lotion to the common hallway/dorm style washroom and slap it on redneck's back and it will save another walk back to the washroom.
Solid logic. Right? Of course right.
Drew tells this to Scott. Scott sort of stop's mid brush. He starts to say he doesn't think it's a good idea. Drew thought Scott was angry because he was foaming at the mouth. But it was just from him brushing his teeth and talking at the same time.
Drew tells Scott to relax.
Besides. It is QUITE early in the morning. Nobody is going to even see what's happening. Scott tells me his logic. So....just to make this clear:
Scott's Logic: Don't put on the ocean lotion in the common washroom because it will look like we are getting it on at an ex-gay conference and there are boundaries. And it would look really bad with Drew rubbing Scott with blue goop with his shirt off. And it's good for Drew to walk back to the dorm because he'd lose a calorie or two.
Drew's Response: Scott is still foaming at the mouth. And we'd be DONE by now if one would seriously just take his shirt off. And..are you saying I'm fat?
Scott begins to spit. This was just him getting all the toothpaste out. Drew thought he was angry again. But no. Just normal brushing activities.
Scott graciously agrees, but tells Drew that it must be QUICK! He removes his shirt and Drew proceeds with his usual antics of taunting him with the frigid gel. Though it takes a couple minutes, both brothers finish up and think they are in the clear.
Emphasis on think.
Scott decides to leave his shirt off in order to allow the gel to soak into his back and not soak through his shirt. Pretty much he looked like a man about to have a massage. Yes… his shirt’s off…
Emphasis on massage and shirt off!
Drew then holds the door open for the two victorious men to head back to bed as the clock strikes 3…. a.m…. Yes, Jeff, we know that’s late. Anyway, we open the door…
And find ourselves in the company of none other than one of our new middle-aged friends fully-clad in plaid pajama pants, white t-shirt, and speech-limiting mouth-guard. The man freezes and is shell-shocked and finds himself unable to move silently recalling the appropriate boundaries not being observed by these liberal shirtless young men.
He went to speak, but remember the mouth-guard, only unintelligible grunts and high pitched squeals emerged. We conveniently translated his alarm as a friendly, “Hello you” at 3 a.m. and decided to squeeze on by with a friendly, “seeya tomorrow!” As the door closes, we hear echoes of a man in turmoil within the bathroom trying to recover from this discovery of this perceived inappropriateness.
As the two men proceed down the hallway, Scott screams at Drew with his eyes and through whispers says, “I TOLD YOU SO!” Drew mouths, “oopsy.”
They get back to their room and Drew fell to the floor and both men start laughing their freaking asses off. (editor’s note: Yeah… we went back and for on including the word “asses,” but it’s really the best way to describe how hard we laughed).
We learned from this… When it comes to Ocean Potion Lotion, it’s best to heed the wise advice:
Get a room.
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